BioBooksAwardsComing NextContactBlogFun StuffHome

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Arachnophobia

Why can't the bugs just stay outside?

Last night, as I'm getting ready for bed in the bathroom, I look into the hallway and see THAT spider. You know, the one I missed killing the other morning. I swear, this thing is a mutant, monster spider. This is Minnesota, we don't get the huge bugs like they do down south, but this thing was the size of a Buick. Or at least bigger than a quarter. ;-)

I'm barefoot, so no stepping on him. There are no shoes in the bathroom. I have ant and spider spray, but that's not in the bathroom either and I'd have to step OVER this HUGE spider to get it. That isn't happening. Uh-uh. So that leaves hair spray, my usual weapon of choice when it comes to slaying bugs. Only I can't find any damn hair spray! =8-O

I had it when I had the wasp problem. Oohh. I bet it's still in my bedroom from wasp duty. Okay, well, I have a ton of hair spray, I have to have another can in the bathroom. Somewhere. I keep one eye on the mutant spider as I look around, trying to find some. How humiliating. Trapped in the bathroom by a spider blocking the doorway. Sigh. Anyway, I locate two cans of scrunch spray on one of the shelves. In the back. I knock over bars of soap, trying to arm myself. Finally, I have a weapon. I take the cap off, shake it up and take a test shot into the sink. Yes! A spider is going down.

I don't know why I never remember that spray shoots better when it's held parallel to the floor, not pointing at the floor. Do I need to tell you that the spray sputtered before it fired? Do I need to tell you that the little bit that landed on the mutant spider probably wasn't enough to kill it? Do I need to tell you that the thing ran for cover before I could discharge enough hair spray to cause it fatal injury? No, I didn't think so.

Anyway, there's a mutant spider loose in the house and he must die. I hate spiders. Not as much as I hate wasps, but I spiders are high on the list of bugs I hate. (Yes, I know they're not really bugs, but as far as I'm concerned, they are. Ick!)

Found my hair spray in my bedroom where it's been since the wasp episodes.

I slept really late today. Now I need to get showered so I can take the SUV in for an oil change. Then, when I get home, I have to do laundry and write. I seriously, really, truly need to start kicking some butt on the writing. You know what I've discovered about myself? I think I do better on short deadlines. I procrastinate too much otherwise. How sad is that? Of course, it is hard to get into the new story when I keep getting interrupted with stuff for Crimson Veil.

MN Weather Report: 78 beautiful degrees.