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Monday, October 25, 2004

Sometimes It Pays To Be Neurotic

By about 12:25, I couldn't take it any more and had to email the editor to see if he'd received my proposal. Good thing I did because their servers were down and my proposal was lost! Of course, I probably over did it by sending the proposal twice, but, hey, in my defense, I used web mail the first time and I never quite trust that, so I resent when I got home from work. This time I know he has it. I feel much better.

Of course, I didn't get to nap because he said he'd get back to me tomorrow. Which promptly brought on a freak out. I'm now sure this proposal totally sucks and that absolutely nothing happens for the first 7 pages and why didn't I cut them considerably? Um, did I really say earlier today that I'd rather be focused on this set of worries? Well, okay, at least I feel better that the proposal arrived, but man, neuroses are not a pretty sight.

I did try to sleep after I printed out a copy of my proposal to snail mail to my agent, but the freak out was in full force so I ran through lines/paragraphs from my chapters in my head and alternated with what I should have done instead. I just hope I can sleep tonight or I'll be worthless tomorrow. Already, I can hardly see straight.

Project for tomorrow: Call about getting the good laptop fixed. The g, h and - keys pretty much don't work on the keyboard and I despise the backup laptop. It has Windows ME on it! Anyone who's used it is probably shuddering in horror at the memory. I forgot what a PITA it is to freeze up, see the big blue screen of death every day and/or have error messages thrown up at the most inconvenient times. I must have my Windows XP laptop fixed so I can write on it. And so I can have the bigger screen and nicer keyboard. I wish I made enough money to hire a personal assistant. I need one!