BioBooksAwardsComing NextContactBlogFun StuffHome

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

The Return of Loud Vendor Guy

After weeks of blessed silence--at least from that corner of the office--Loud Vendor Guy returned yesterday. I don't know if he'd been out of town or working from home, but it was so nice without him.

I didn't hear him approach right away, because I had my headphones on, listening to Horizons on my MP3 player. Mr. Congeniality was on a roll yesterday morning too and I needed to tune him out. My first inkling there was trouble was when MC made a comment, and then I heard it. The thump, thump, thump, whirr, whirr, whirr that can mean only one thing. Loud Vendor Guy is approaching, laptop in tow.

It's not even 9am yet, very early for Loud Vendor Guy who--if he's going to make an appearance--generally shows up after 11am. I sigh. Mr. Congeniality is more than loud enough--that's a whole other story--but Loud Vendor Guy is worse. Much worse.

He promptly gets on the phone. I maintain that Loud Vendor Guy believes he is holding a tin can connected via string to another tin can, and that to make himself heard, he feels he must project at a volume that would carry to the other party even without the wonders of modern technology. I turn up my MP3 player.

Horizons finishes and Loud Vendor Guy is on another call. Instead of choosing some nice, soothing music, I opt for lively, upbeat rock. It kind of drowns out the schmoozing coming from his cube. Kind of, but he is awfully loud. Sigh.

Unfortunately, for me, Loud Vendor Guy tries to login to his laptop. That means it's time to call for computer help. This man must be the worst computer user ever because every single time he tries to use the laptop, he's on the phone with his company's IS Department. As annoyed as I am with his inability to handle the simplest computer thing, I remind myself that at least I'm not the poor IS person stuck talking to him. As this call drones on and on, Mr. Congeniality suggests that I go over and fix Loud Vendor Guy's computer so that he'll be quiet. (And trust me, if Mr. Congeniality thinks this vendor is loud, he has to really be loud because MC is very loud himself.)

The rest of the day goes this way, with Loud Vendor Guy yammering away to person after person. I turn the tunes up louder, but by afternoon, I have a horrible headache because I've had the music turned up too loudly. Finally, when Loud Vendor Guy decides to use his cell phone to call his wife's doctor, I have to leave. I already know way too much personal information about this near-total stranger, I don't want any more, so I go out to deliver work to my tech writers on other floors.

Finally, it's time to go home and I can't get out of there fast enough. The headache, however, is a lingering reminder of my day.

I don't want to sound mean or anything, but I like things quiet and it grates on me when the noise goes on and on and on and on. I'm safely among the top five quietest people on my floor of the office and I'm surrounded by the two loudest men. Loud Vendor Guy is quite honestly the loudest human being I have ever been around and Mr. Congeniality... Sigh. I'll save him for another day, but he also projects at top volume. He's just not quite as bad as LVG.

MN Weather Report: 71 degrees. Humid. More rain on the way.