I'm lucky that I can work from home now, but that just started last week. Every other day, I had to report to my day job. Every single day, it was scary, and when five people got on the elevator with me one afternoon on my way out, I found myself trying to plaster myself into the corner.
Grocery shopping? That's downright terrifying. I don't have any rubber gloves, no latex gloves, so I wore gardening gloves. And because my phone opens with my fingerprint, I had my thumb out and I felt exposed. So strange.
When I got home with the groceries, I took Lysol wipes and cleaned everything before my dad put it away. I wiped down the counter, wiped down my phone, my purse, my keys, my car, and washed my hands like I was going into surgery.
I have anxiety and this has exacerbated it to a huge degree. Fear isn't a bad thing, I guess, because it reminds you to be careful, but how long do we have to live like this? A vaccine is 12-18 months away if we're lucky. I'm tired of being scared to leave my house and it's literally been like two weeks. I'm trying to imagine months of this and can't.
Trying to focus to write is damn difficult. So is sleeping. And you guys, it's tree pollen season in Atlanta and guess who has allergies? Do I need to tell you it's a new opportunity to freak out every day? Gah!
I just want normal back.
