Soothing Anxiety

I have anxiety. I've always had it, although when I was a teenager, I couldn't name what it was. Over the last three plus years, it has become really bad. Bad enough that I literally could only get about two hours of sleep a night. Something had to change, and I didn't want to go on medication, so I decided to try crochet.

It helped. A lot. And after four months, I decided to learn to knit as well. I figured this way I could make any pattern I liked. Sadly, after knitting for a few months, I forgot how to crochet and didn't feel like relearning it, so I've stuck with knitting.

Knitting has also been a really good way to help my anxiety and I've needed it a lot lately. Worrying about this virus, about whether or not I was going to have a job, and a million other things has kept me up at night.

I've been knitting a lot lately. I need to.

I turn on something mindless on TV, but enough to distract me from real life, and I knit. I'm currently hooked on knitting 10 inch squares. They're quick, but can still be challenging depending on the pattern, and I don't have to commit weeks or months to them, which also keeps my brain occupied because instead of the same pattern repeated, I have something new to work on every couple of days.

I'd love to see life get back to normal. I'd love to focus on my writing without worrying about someone I love getting sick. Without worrying about losing my job at the airline. Without wondering what this world is going to look like at the end of this.

I'd love it, but from what I've seen, this isn't going to happen any time soon. And so I'm making lots and lots of squares. I'll share some on the blog soon.