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Saturday, January 28, 2006

D Day

That's D as in Dread.

I wonder if other authors dread public appearances as much as I do? I know it's because I'm so shy and putting myself outside my comfort zone is never easy for me. That's part of the reason why I keep doing it. Pushing beyond the fear is good and it becomes a little easier each time. There's a book out there titled Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. I've never read it and I have no idea if it's any good or not, but the title makes for a perfect motto. I'm really trying not to let my shyness get in the way. I have to confess, though, I feel about the same level of excitement right now as I felt before I went in for surgery on my foot. The funny thing is that once I'm there and in the energy, I'll have a good time. Then I'll spend the rest of the day wondering why I was dreading this so much. :-)

The post today over at Romancing the Blog had a sentence or two in there that got me thinking. The blogger, though, went off in a different direction, but I'd rather explore the part about hearing voices in one's head and never being bored because there are always stories playing up there. Maybe because I've always had the voices.

I don't know when the voices started--they might have always been there--but I thought everyone had stories and characters for those stories in their head. It never occurred to me that others didn't. I do remember playing Barbies with my friends, and thinking their storylines were short and unexciting. I always had such involved and long scenarios. Sometimes they'd be done with theirs and be watching me. Finally, I'd start making suggestions to them. "Why don't you ___?"

It still didn't dawn on me that they didn't hear the same conversations in their head as I did. But at the same time, I never, ever told anyone I had people in my head. Maybe even at that tender age, I knew better than to sound like a raving lunatic. :-)

My parents dragged my brother and I everywhere with them. Most of the things we got stuck at were boring, and because my parents were so much older than most parents were, there usually weren't other kids to play with. If we visited my parents' friends, their kids would be full grown. I was never bored, though. I had my people. I made it through a ton of church services and events by daydreaming.

I never wrote anything down, never even thought about it. Until I was 14. I've told this story often, so I'll just sum up. A friend in my 8th grade class was writing a story and I decided to write my own. It was the beginning for me. The first step on my journey to becoming a published author. What makes this whole thing even cooler is I can see the people who nudged me back on the path when I wandered away. I consider them human angels.

Today, the world (at least the part of the world that read my books) can see the stories that I have playing. This week, I've been working on revisions to Eternal Nights and Kendall and Wyatt have been strongly present. Now that I'm not pressing hard to finish the book, I can enjoy them and remember how much I like them.

Anyway, I suppose I should get moving since I only have about two hours till I have to leave for the expo. Before I post this, though, I want to mention that I have the cover for Crimson Rogue by Liz Maverick up on my website now! It's only a small image and I'd love to post a bigger one here, but I don't have a big image. If you want to see the cover (or the complete set of covers for the Crimson City series) you can visit my Through a Crimson Veil page.